JAMES kELSo        oPYWRITER

For hire, by the day, by the job, by the light of the silvery moon.

                              

DIPADA IN THE REAL WORLD - A TRUE STORY

Someone once asked me to help write a complaint email to his boss. They had been sent to work on a three-month assignment in the north of England, living in a rented company flat. The flat was a slum. They felt angry and insulted. Their first draft, written as soon as they’d arrived, was full of confrontation and righteous indignation. This was my advice. Step one; wait a day or two. Step two; remember Dipada.

First, define customer's needs, the boss in this case. What did the boss need? I didn’t know him or her, but it was a fair bet they didn’t need a complaint. What did they want? The same as we all want, praise, a pat on the back.

So, Define became:

Hi X,

Thanks very much for trusting me with this assignment. I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve met the team up here and they all seem on the ball.

Identify became:

Having met the gang, I feel I can really bring something to the party.

Proof became:

In some ways, the job reminds me of that project I worked on last year when, between us, we managed to make it a success.

Agreement became:

Mind you, this one looks a bit more difficult, but if we pull together I’m certain we can sort it out.

Desire became:

I plan to meet one-to-one with the group leaders first, and get them on board before we all go flat out on the job. By the way, talking of flats, the digs up here are a bit grim. Actually, I noticed in an estate agent’s window some nicer places that were cheaper than our dump!

Action became

(Over to you, as they say!) Anyway, I’m on the case and I’ll keep you posted.

Cheers.

So here’s our letter.

Hi X,

Thanks very much for trusting me with this assignment. I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve met the team up here and they all seem on the ball. Having met the gang, I feel I can really bring something to the party. In some ways, the job reminds me of that project I worked on last year when, between us, we managed to make it a success. Mind you, this one looks a bit more difficult, but if we pull together I’m certain we can sort it out. I plan to meet one-to-one with the group leaders first, and get them on board before we all go flat out. By the way, talking of flats, the digs up here are a bit grim. Actually, I noticed in an estate agent’s window some nicer places that were cheaper than our dump! (Over to you, as they say!) Anyway, I’m on the case and I’ll keep you posted.

Cheers

Short, conversational, no anger, no confrontation; above all, structured. The only creative part was the lie about the estate agent and the pun on flats. There were two results. The boss emailed  back saying:

Great to hear you’re on top of it. Keep me abreast of everything. Switch digs if you want to.

Regards

And did our hero switch flats? No. Once he knew he could, it seemed less of a problem. After all, it was only for three months. But notice something else. His boss was no fool. He knew something about structured writing. He immediately bounced the difficulty back. You can almost hear him thinking: ‘That’s your problem, you take care of it Sunshine.’ 

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